“There comes a point when you can no longer lie to yourself.”
Photo credit: Chris Pizzello, @cpizzello
This quote has been on my mind a lot lately. What do we sacrifice when we put effort in to denying who we are? For me, as I’ve grown in my journey it’s become clear that I lost out on experiences, moments, feelings, friends, and relationships that are now gone forever. At the time, refusing to acknowledge who I was seemed like the safe, easier way to live life. I think that’s how a lot of people feel; it’s the equivalent of turning up the music on your car’s stereo when you hear a weird noise. However, being voluntarily blind to what one may initially assume will be a problem is not only a short-term fix, but also a great way to miss out on the potential upside. Lying to yourself about who you are shuts you out from being a part of a community that is full of complex, battle-tested people who can—and will—take your hand and lead you on the path to freedom.
I have clearly finally reached this point of being truthful, especially after starting Quiet Deviants. When I look back, I am astonished at the time I’ve lost even though I’m still relatively young. It’s not necessarily a brokenhearted feeling; more like a mix of melancholy and frustration. I, and others I know or have read about, was rejecting a part of myself that I am unable to change. I wonder where I would be now had I changed course earlier, and I hope Quiet Deviants designs will help others do so.
You can see this quote and more of Laverne Cox’s wisdom here.